10 signs you and your husband aren’t on vacation anymore

With just 24 post-vacation-sans-children hours under my belt, it’s now glaringly obvious that the honeymoon, as they say, is most definitely OVER.  

1. The people at your hotel hang on your every word.  The people at home require you having to say things 14 times (and yell once more) before they respond.
2. Instead of chocolates on your pillow there are leftover Halloween candy bar wrappers on your floor.
3. You can’t go to the bathroom by yourself anymore (it sure was fun while it lasted though).
4. The thought of going to a wine tasting at 4:00 now seems like a really bad idea.
5. Instead of being greeted with “Hello, Mrs. Shumway, and welcome!” you’re greeted with “MOMMY I just pooped and it looks IZZACLY like a monkey head!”
6. Instead of lazily rolling over and waking up naturally to the sun peeking through the hotel blinds, your alarm clock buzzes at 6:45 and you put a fist through it.  BOO.
7. You and your husband aren’t taking frequent strolls outside to “explore the neighborhood you’re staying in;” now you speed-walk in the cold for the sole purpose of getting Elvis to poop on the grass instead of the dining room rug.
8. The most decadent thing on the menu is leftover macaroni and cheese (homemade, not out of a box) and the only poor schmoe clearing your dishes is you.
9. IT SNOWS ON YOUR FIRST MORNING HOME (grrrrr).
10. The sunset may not have palm trees in it, but you both get to share it with three little people that make up for all that.

A wonderful and much needed vacation, but happy to be home.